NEERU ERA ENDS ………

Date:16th July'07
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Today while going for Neeru’s funeral we were discussing her, there were lots of memories to be talked about. Mood was very nostalgic.. We talked for a while about her & kept quite, we again shared our thoughts & we kept quite & then Anil broke silence with a statement “Finally Neeru Era Ends” …… There was much pain in the statement & that statement kept ringing in my mind. Indeed yes.. Neeru Era ended yesterday when she last breathed in Apollo Hospital.

I am still not able to digest the truth that she is no longer between us. Yesterday Neeru lost her 4 year long battle with cancer. Though she lost the battle, but I believe she is a warrior in true sense. Despite so much pain & difficulty, she had the desire to live, which gave her strength to fight this deadly disease. She literally fought to live. I believe that the main reason she fought so long and so hard with her cancer was, so that she could stay just a little longer for her children. She loved her children that much, that she would fight all pain and the adversities to make it through another day, just to see them smile or laugh or simply to be just with them. She fought fierce battles everyday, just to have those simple little things.

Neeru, was a dear friend to me. I knew Neeru for last 6years now. I remember my first meeting with her was related to a follow up of a resume I had fwded in her group. I was very scared to disturb this full of energy girl busy juggling with papers in her cubical. But, when I spoke to her, she made me feel so comfortable & was so cooperative, that fear of her was instantly gone. Neither were we in same group nor in the same deptt., nor shared the same bus .. but still became friends .. I came to know more of her through a common friend & don’t know how in no time we became good friends….. Last week when I talked with her over phone, she gave a new dimension to our friendship .. she said “Pata hai Lippika mujhe lagta hai jaise tu pichle janam maine meri bahen thi..” .. that was her love, she used to show. I feel truly blessed for having had Neeru has a friend in my life for 6+ years. She was kind, understanding and above all very loving.

She has left many beautiful memories & incidents to cherish. From the time, the sad news of her demise came, my memories with her flashed in front of me. One thing we had in common was playing pranks. She also loved to socialize & had a very affectionate attitude towards all, always friendly to everyone & easy to talk to….. Before her illness was diagnosed, she lived life with a completely different enthusiasm .. so energetic, so fresh .. bubbling always!!

It seems weird to think that now she won’t be there anymore, she won’t be there saying in her usual lovely tone “hi lipika .. kaisi hai” .. now there won’t be any phone calls to tell me what the doctors said .. To tell me how she is feeling now .. To tell that how badly she needs to meet me .. To tell the fears she is currently fighting. But the most important thing she would say to me was how much she liked me and was so happy that I was her friend. I know that there are not going to be anymore phone calls from her, there won’t be anymore meetings with her.. but it’s really hard to believe. She always used to discuss her greatest fears and concerns she had all these years. At times, the fears and doubts and adversities over shadowed her. It would be my turn then to listen carefully and tell her that everything was going to be ok. Tell her that I would help and take care of what I could. To give her the faith that everyone close to her are with her. The one thing that I would always try to tell her was that, Neeru you have been bold enough to handle all difficulties in the past, now it’s just a matter of time & then everything is going to be fine. But, nothing became fine.. her fears became reality & she left.. & she left forever..

I don’t think I can even imagine the pain her family members must be going through. Although, she is not with us today, but, her kids, her family and she herself holds a special place in our hearts. I have a feeling that in exchange for this inconceivable sadness, god surely has in store an incredible destiny for the kids & family, Neeru has left behind. I just pray to god to give good health and happy life to her kids & rest of the family.

In life, mostly in the last 4years, she had faced many disappointments, hardship and catastrophes, but still through all the pain and hurt, she tried her best to shine. She was an extraordinary friend to many. And today, I think we all were going through same set of emotions.. grief, numb disbelief, downright sadness .. tears refused to dry in everyone’s eyes while paying tribute to her. She has left everyone with their share of memories to be cherished about her.

It is beyond imagination, how scared and terrified her kids must have been on realizing the reality, but how courageous & bold they looked today. She loved them with all her heart and that shined through in everything she did for them and withstood for them. I remember her excitement when her daughter was to come back from her around 1wk long school trip.. looking at her energy level at that time, one could not have guessed her illness. Around 2months back she was busy collecting books & notes for her son, who then entered class Xth. By all means she wanted to help his son get through with good scores in his studies. At all these occasions it was hard to believe that she herself is going through lot of pain.

Fear of death used to bother her like anything and this sometimes made her very insecure from within. Her prolonged illness had not only affected her physical health but also affected her emotional well being. She was slowly trying to accept her medical state, but was loosing control over her emotional state. Her talks sprinkled her fear and her hatred of chemo. Sometimes she used to bitterly cry and her body numb and that used to be the situation when I or for that matter anyone used to fell short of words to console her.

For last few months, don’t know why, she starting believing that no matter how bad the outcome of each battle, she had to fight each one alone. She loved her family with all her heart and the strength that she used in each one of her battles, came from her love for her family.
For the small help u offered her, she would shower endless blessings on you .. probably that’s why she herself fell short of blessings in the end.

People, friends walk in & out of life, but loosing friend like this is something I had never anticipated. Although she didn’t kept well and we knew the severity of her problem, but always thought that probably like this only, i.e. on medication & chemo, she will live for several years to come.

I want to remember her as the quiet warrior she was. She deserves to be honored as a real-life fighter. Her battles were many and fierce, but her glory, was in her winning life each day for the last 4 years. I am honored that she choose to share those glories, those conquest with me, by being my friend. You were one of the great friends and although losing you is one of the worst things that's ever happened in our lives, but I'm grateful for the time that we did have together. Though Neeru Era has Ended .. but in our hearts she will continue to live forever.

Rest in peace, Neeru. We all love you and will miss you always.

A final good bye to you……. Neeru.

A brief family history........

This is my prize winning essay. I wrote this essay in an essay competition conducted by Sindhi Academy at district level.

Myself, Lippika Parwani, daughter of Shri Ajit Kumar Parwani and grand daughter of Late Shri. J.W. Parwani. I am born and brought up in Delhi, but originally we belong to Khairpur Mirus state in Pakistan. Our family traditionally lived in Sind province once part of India but now in Pakistan. After migration to India the Parwani family spreaded all over India. By and large our family is of literates and intellectual persons in as much as it had produced Administrators, Educationalists, Doctors, Engineers, Lawyers and successful businessmen.

I must say at the outset that I am proud to belong to Parwani family. My family has ever stuck to our ancestor’s motto “try to do good to others as far as possible, but never harm any one even if he be your enemy”. I have been brought up in a family where Sindhi culture was, rather is very prevalent & was enforced upon all by my grandfather. When alive, my dadaji used to teach us about our old family tree & family hierarchy from a family book he had. Unlike other grand fathers who tell their children stories of kings & queens, he used to tell us story of his & his ancestors days in Pakistan. His narration extended from the beauty of life in those days, to royal culture, joint family, importance of relationship to fun they used to have in their family autak to the history of mohan-jo-daro. And, these all narrations have not only given us insight about the life in Sindh, but have also given us an inspiration to become better person in life, and needless to say, have drawn us more closer to our Sindhi culture. For, guidance, today my dadaji tough may not be here, by his teachings & words have given me motivation & strength to write this essay.

With due respect to all the above & higher generations of Parwani family, I start our family hierarchy from my dadaji’s dada, i.e. Diwan Pratap Rai, after whom our house “Pratap Bhawan” is also named. Diwan Pratap Rai was son of Diwan Asomal Parwani. He holded the prestigious position of finance minister in the Khairpur Mirus state. Diwan Pratap Rai was blessed with six sons, out of which my great grand father Diwan WaliRam Parwani were the youngest. Diwan Wali Ram Parwani was very literate & highly qualified. He served as teacher to Mir Ali Murad khan in Khairpur Mirus state.

Diwan WaliRam Parwani was blessed with four sons, and my respected Dadaji were his third son. My dadaji, Late Shri. J.W. Parwani, retired as section officer from Ministry of Defence. Though, he retired at an age of fifty eight, still he was not tired of working and so he planned to give a new turn to his career. And hence, he started his practice as civil advocate in Delhi High Court. He practiced till an age of 83, after which his physical potency was not enough to keep him going, so he took final retirement from his career.

Though he stopped his practice but even at an age of 83 his willpower & determination to study & learn was worth admiring. His mantra of success was it’s not important whether u win or loose, but he used to tell that what is important is that how honestly u have tried.

In his entire journey, my grand mother Smt. Padma Parwani stood beside him as his soul mate. My grand mother was a very literate and educated lady. In that era, where females rarely used to go for education, she was a matriculate in English medium. She was a very pious lady, who dedicated her entire life in the service of family and god. Her routine of doing service in our family temple every morning, evening and night was fixed.

Late Shri. J.W. Parwani & his wife Late Smt. Padma Parwani, were blessed with five sons, three daughters and 13 grand children. The couple was a perfect example of maintaining balance in the family. Where, on the one hand, my grandfather managed to infuse hard core principles, traditions and discipline in the family, my grandmother tried hard to permeate moral and religious values in the family. Through them, I have learned to follow each and every tradition with due respect and willingness, and not as a burden.

Of the eight children of my grandparents, my father MR. Ajit Parwani, is the second son. He works as a director with private firm since last 35years. He believes and teaches that stability and consistency is the factor which forms basis of every success. He like his father has been working as a very dedicated volunteer with Sindhu panchayat. Through his journey of life, my mother Neelam Parwani, has been his constant supporter for last 28 years. My parents are both kind at heart but strict disciplinarians. My mother works with State Bank of India. My parents are kind at heart but strict disciplinarians. They are blessed with 2 daughters and 1 son, from whom I being the eldest. After completing my studies in electronics & telecommunication engg., presently I am working with an MNC as design engineer. My both siblings are studying.

Through all these years we have tried our level best to live upto the values and culture derived as heritage from our ancestors and for the future seek the blessings of our elders, to continue living the same.